In aging I’ve found that regret and loss are both emotionally difficult as well as being physically draining. Living in a world that was once relatively comfortable versus a new one of daily need and challenges for survival overwhelming one’s spirit as a roaring life-changing 40-foot wave of uncontrollable circumstances hurdles and crashes onto you the swimmer in helpless effort against Poseidon’s ruthless power.  You the swimmer stand helpless soaking wet in the sun as all of life’s carefully established protective rails melt into the seemingly starved soil and scorched earth of a planned life turns into something else. How does one ask for help of family and friends as the crickets of soundlessness loudly profess that you are alone?  The eye of the beholder watches as you stumble drunkenly from pillar to post attempting to survive the emptiness and heartbreak of loss and regret.

Being forced by the universe to live in another life that looks dimly like the former one; the loss of a mother, father, sibling, close friend, or perhaps even worse, a husband or wife of years built on love and respect leaves an empty hole in one’s heart that can be devastating.  And believe me, as one who has experienced it, financial loss may create results that are similar yet different in that loss here may mean an entirely new life of need toward stamina and survival. Although in financial loss the regret of past decisions and unintended error can deepen the guilt in regretted wishful dreams of a do-over. When the challenge to one’s status leads to regret and shame the eye of the beholder can wilt the heart and move the conversation into a cavern echoing a hollow what-if?